i wrote this for a college assignment to write something based on a personal experience.
I wrote this, which has many levels so if you dont wanna know, look away!
The surface layer is a description through a wood and up the side of a cliff to the top. This is a very real journey i take most years on the anniversary of my sisters death as her ashes are at the top (so she could be part of the air, sea and earth). There are details throughout this piece that are from that real annual journey. Bluebells, pinecones and primroses.
The story has a second meaning, the story of my life.
Below i have marked specific details which may be enhanced by knowing my intentions.
"I emerged from the people carrier and ingested the familiarity of the place; Langdon Woods. Now, those pathways are dug into my palms. Deep trenches scratched into the whorls of my fingertips. Reminders of where I've been." - people carrier, womb. Fingerprints mentioned because they are formed in the womb. This section imitates birth into a safe place (my family life).
"We walked for a while, hand in hand. You pointed out cashmere blankets of bluebells that bowed their heads as we marched past." - This refers to my sister(laura) and i as children. We were very close. The bowed heads is a reminder that it wasnt all happy however because she was severely disabled.
" I saw them repeat infinitely, a kaleidoscopic tessellation of my many copies of this memory, each slightly different (some faded and well worn)." - refers to the many many times ive walked that pathway in rememberamce of her over the years.
"You had other places to be and went quicker than I, I couldn't make my body match yours and I lost you." - Her death
"The woods felt heavier, and the trees waved to me, trying to tempt me to go backwards. The leaves gossiped of me, they hissed their lies to the bluebells who now turned their faces away to speak of Eurydice." - my depression and anxiety taking over my life. Paranoia.
"I could not catch you" - attempted suicides
"I fell in my distress, tumbled over a pile of stones and in the fuss they spilled over me." - rock bottom
"When I realised that I was alone with the sun setting weightily upon me I shook off the stones and crawled to my feet." - fight or die moment
"decorated with my descent." - scars and anxiety
"It only took two corners to find sunlight again," - two major bad life events before i started to see hope again.
"We struggled and staggered, so great was the hill. It stole the breath from me as I pushed my mortal body further and further." - fighting to get better and go to uni.
When we reached the peak you stood back to let me see the view"- hope for the future
"I could see far off places on the other side of the water's body, places I longed to know." - past tense death,present tense hope.
" I added baby flowers in yellow, eighteen shy little stars to remember you by. Sat in a cradle of sky and earth with the sea smashing into the side of the cliff, an ever present and real threat to take me too, I often wished it would unite us." - 18 primroses. Threat of suicide and death.
There is a passage where i talk about my depression flooding the grave, it is supposed to be grim to reflect the guilt about being self indulgently depressed. (a small thought in the back of my heart)
Throught the story there is a "you". Originally it seems like a real person, someone going with me. In fact the idea is that it is those who watch over me, my sister and my grandmother. Talking about how they pushed me towards a brighter future.
The ending of this isnt ss strong as i wish it would be, because im still not sold on the happily ever after idea.
The title is the latitude and longitude location of this place