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A chance secondI lie awake, staring at the cornices.
3AM: my fingers worry at the corners of my sheet.
My anxiety worries at the corners of my rib.
I bite and tug and huff out my misery
As the silence keeps me awake.
I lay with pressure of your absence
Pressing down over my nose and mouth.
A soft asphixiation of the heart, of the sanity.
It is a hot grey night in London.

You are awake, startled by the sunlight.
7AM: you can't lift your weighty skull from the sheet.
The day sirens, but you stay, settled,
Under the weight of your shroud, your loss,
Only the silence keeps you awake.
Unknowingly, for the first time in weeks
We are unintentionally in sync;
Laid
HAIKUWRIMOCOMPLETE 2013

February 28th, 2013

Dire desperation
A feeble whimper for help;
roar of these raw times.

February 27th, 2013

Gluttonous ash cloud
sucks the moon's blood
and swallows the night.

February 26th, 2013

Bark! An explosion!
Angry bodies escape the
network of lung cells.

February 25th, 2013

Silently cloning,
multiplying, honing in,
determined to kill.

February 24th, 2013

Tea and sympathy
readily available
for my dear sister.

February 23rd, 2013

I will hold my breath
as the north wind does the same
waiting for your love.

February 22nd, 2013

He hovers behind;
Hamletian apparition.
Always following.

February 21st, 2013

A lo
Mother EarthMy body is the earth;
See how under this bruise
A seed of malcontent sleeps.
See what grows out of each pore
As the pain pours over again.
There is rust in my fingerbeds
That poisons the roots
Of all good that hopes to grow here.
I am the convulsing, revolution
of the convoluted Earth...
I am the tectonic blades that clash
and shout when I curl up and hide.
You will feel me when I tremble,
and fear me when I explode
for under the magmanimous skin
There burns a core of hate
That can't be marred by human hand.
Sometimes, it's the little things.He always told me I was deep.
An unfiltered distillation of a humanitarian ocean.

He accepted me, gills and all -
  He knew that I needed my eccentricities to breathe
         under the seascrapers of pollution
               that hung over my head.
 Or he said he did.

At the end of it all,
he tugged the gills open to expose me;
    my innards trailed across the coral reef
       as I swam trustingly forward, hoping for the best.
 I tried to believe.

I believed him, gills and all -
But eventually, he left me, with holes in my sides
   Where he had spooned out my intestines
      To tether them to a boulder.
 I tried to breath
In absence of a poem.I chewed my pen to the nib
and swallowed the ink thoughtlessly,
but no matter how long I thought,
I couldn't say what you mean to me.

I tried, I tried and I tested,
every word in my diminutive range,
but I screwed up more pieces of paper
and happened upon something strange;

I noticed words, which have served me,
for all of my formative years,
had no power to convey my gratitude
for the times that you dried my tears.

Whenever I doubt myself (often),
You're the one who tells me I'm wrong
You lift up my chin and remind me, wait
for the good things that will come along.

I can't find a way to express how
you are the saving grace in my head.
So
ParchmentI speared you with a         black-ink pen.
I tried to balance           the weight
of our weare-worn         shoulders.
Tried to counter         it with beauty
and hopefulness        , with my hopes,
persistence &         with my dark love.
They came to        see it in hundreds,
Droves, of         similarly seeking
hope and         a reason to continue.
Reasons         to love, even when it
hurts.         Reasons to try when the
vast         weight of differences 'tween
us         can't be fixed by adding
a         single strike of strength
        through the middle. Our love
      wasn't strong enough for poetry
     to save. It crum
Sleeping soundlyHe's talking in his sleep again
And I can't help wondering
If he's saying all the things he feels he can't say
When I'm (not) listening in the day.
The White ThingsNothing is as far away as a minute ago.
No matter how hard you row against the tide
we can never reach it, never return there.

It's hard to sleep in the light of my regrets
that creeps through curtain and barriers
to rot away and bleach all things white.

It's hard to sleep knowing that no distance
is as far away as sixty small seconds ago.
Immalleable, we rot, and things turn white.
MutantHear me read it

I am a mutant.
                   | My skin does not sallow in the sun
                     and I do not blush jaundice through my cheeks.
                   | I do not have extra fingers, or toes -
                     although my spine;
                                                 it boasts an ironic vertebrae,
                                                 it is a long tally of the hearts I have broken
                                                 and when I straighten my spine the bones Pop out of place.
                                                                                                     
United, We WriteHear me read it

0hgravity, if by some divine fortune you should decide that today is the day you will fail me, then let me soar through the ChemicalSkyline. Grant me a-lovely-anxiety that raises a storm InTheStarryNightSky for me to riseandbe above all else. Let me soar.

How I long to be the frail rider-on-the-storm and not a victim of the RoamingShadow, Rogue-Of-The-Night, that BlackVelvetNightmare of my nights and days. I long for awaytobefree, won't you grant it to me?

I desire to be great, to feel greatness, to be more than one of many Sad-Writers spinning Sacred-Literature into SanguineEpitaph after saturninesweetness. scarletwave of
I will remember for youDo you remember;
It was September and I was seventeen.
I was gnarled into the corner of a bus
Mithering away at my gloomy mood;
Trying to shake the oppressive landscape in my mind.

It was unexpected.
A blow,
A shock.
It was unexpected to see you there.

You were folded primly onto a bus shelters seat
With her hand enveloped in yours
You both lifted your other hands, synchronised,
And waved to me with your familiar smiles.

I was surprised.
Was stunned.
Was overjoyed,
I was surprised to see you there.

Your grey hat tipped so rain slipped off
And her glasses whitening with the steam of her laugh
I just looked at you, gluttonous,
I absorbed ev
Never The Gold.I want my silver back,
I need to melt it down and forge a new connection
With someone else.
I want all the precious bits of myself
that I so willingly quarried for you.
I want my silver back.
TerminalI want to kill you.

I want our love to be terminal,
And for it to be wrapped
around your heart tight when you die.
I want you to be looking
into my eyes when you do,
And I want you to know
what I have done to you,
                           for you.

I want our love to be terminal,
Or rather; til death do us part.

I meant what I said,
I want our love to last until you die,
Or I die,
Or beyond that.

Or; simply,
I want to spend my life with you.
The Food ChainCherish swam through the ocean sleepily, her eyelids bobbing over the dark orbs on either side of her narrow face. She exhaled bodily, her fins expanding and then slowly contracting in time with the water rushing in through the minute slashes that ran down her sides. Her fingernail sized heart trembled vivaciously, on the edge of a violent flurry as she skirted past a Dorado unnoticed. Her mind was elsewhere, circling, circling, like a Sprat in a see-through spherical piece of coral. She slipped down through the seams holding the ocean together, down to the ocean floor. Here, far from the noise of the surface dwellers, she could forget. She c
ShockwaveFoetal
Trying to fold the pain up
To trap it between the paper cut limbs.
Curled up
Protective
But the shockwaves come
Pulsing from inside
Destroying cells
Radiocactive
Curled up
To trap it between the paper cut limbs.
Trying to fold the pain up.
Foetal.
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More from `KathrynODriscoll

Quietly - Draft One /How quietly love dies,
Without affair or funeral,
Without reason or substitution,
Where are the mourners?

How quietly love dies,
Bring me my hysteria!
Bring me the flood
Of turpentine and tears..

Where are the cracks
in my skin - in my heart?
Where is the reality,
That he doesn't want me any more.
The Polish Electrician - Draft One /He didn't want to believe,
Held his head in his hands and he wept.
He lay down his funeral shoes
by the side of his bed, and he slept.

He wandered and pondered
and thought and he fought,
With himself on a puppeteers string

Til late in the night
He gave up the fight,
and took off his old wedding ring.

Kissed a cigar goodnight,
Flicked ash on the floor,
and by the following day,
He followed no more.
The Odd Couple - Draft One /She liked the taste of dragonflies,
and the smell of sweat in the morning.
I often found her watching concerts,
Or dancing in the garden in the rain.

I liked listening to the sunrise,
Watching dew upon the early morning grass.
I liked tasting the curves of her body,
and smelling her tears fall once again.
The Love Song - Draft One /We wrote the same love songs
With different words
and a variation of the melody
But in the core of it
It was the same.

We recited depictions of our ideal love
and spouted them as our own
As original
We rewrote the same love songs
With different words.
The Master's Wife - Draft One /Bound an' gagged and dragged away,
Depression came for me again today,
Took my clothes, as I took my life,
He came back to claim me as his wife.

Threw me, exposed, to cellar floor,
Lost in darkness, no light, no door,
Filled the room with the toxic gases,
He feeds daily to subservient masses.

I shivered until death came for me,
His hand on mine still I could not see,
Stood and observed my body, the wreck,
Then stepped up and snapped my neck.

Bound an' gagged and died anyway,
Blood dyes the cellar floor blue today.
Yours in life and yours in debt,
Play with the devil, that's what you get.

Crumbled broken, to the stone cold floo
Shakespeare in Love - Draft One /May I not adore you?
Should you command me not to,
I doubt I will comply -

It seems an impossibility
A task greater than I.

May I not beseech you,
To look upon me with your favour?
I wish so greatly for it -

It seems an impossibility
Even I have to admit.

May I not call to you
and find some bewitching word
To spell upon your heart?

It seems an impossibility
To rely on that of a dark art.

May I not love you then?
You may flog me and flagulate
I never shall atone.

For it seems an impossibility
That I feel so much   -   alone.

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February 25, 2011
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[x]

Finding Neverlove - Draft One

:iconkathrynodriscoll:

Hear me read it

I have never loved you.
I did not love you since the day we met,
I did not love you the moment
I looked into your beautiful eyes.

I have never loved your soft voice
As it whispers my name in adoration
And I have never loved the look in your eyes
When you look at me.

I don't love your hair,
Or the way you look in the morning,
Half asleep and vulnerable and shy.
I do not love you.

I did not love you at the first touch,
At the first kiss.
I did not love you the first time,
Or the second time,
Or the last time;
Not even then.

Listen to me carefully -
I have never loved you.
I will never love you.
I will not love you until my very last breath
And beyond.

I will not love you for all that you are,
Nor accept you for all of your innocent flaws.

I cannot love you.

I have never loved you
Since the first time I set my eyes on you.
:iconkathrynodriscoll:
----------------------------------

Kathryn O'Driscoll © 2012

Revised copyright 2012, not original date of creation. All rights reserved. All the materials contained in my deviantART gallery may NOT be used, reproduced, copied, edited, published, transmitted, borrowed, duplicated, printed, downloaded, or uploaded in any way without my express written permission, however feel free to contact me should you desire to use my work - as I love to share.

----------------------------------

Updated 29/1/13 with audio
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:icon0hgravity:
*0hgravity Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Or the way you look in the morning,
Half asleep and vulnerable and shy.
I do not love you.
--loved this bit.

I really like the concept of this.
Reply
:iconkathrynodriscoll:
`KathrynODriscoll Feb 1, 2013  Student Writer
Thanks, it always has gotten mixed reviews so I've been thinking the past 2 days I might rewrite the concept, see if I can try and make 100% of the readers get what I'm trying to do
Reply
:icon0hgravity:
*0hgravity Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
ah, well if you decide to rewrite I wish you good luck!
Reply
:iconasvia:
~Asvia Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Amazing!
I absolutely love this!
:iconloveloveplz: I'm at a loss of words... Beautiful. :heart:
Reply
:iconkathrynodriscoll:
`KathrynODriscoll Feb 1, 2013  Student Writer
Gosh, thank you so much. I'm really glad you enjoyed it and understood my intentions
Reply
:iconasvia:
~Asvia Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:) You're very welcome!
Reply
:iconelementneo:
Mood: Love ~ElementNeo Jan 30, 2013
Honestly so many people have no idea what real love is... hence I get a lot of awkward questions when I write love stories since people usually can't handle the magnitude of the scale of the emotion itself. Love is effing huge.

On a side note, and more to the point... the dude in this poem needs to get a dollar and buy a clue. Cuz he's clueless in Seattle. XD
Reply
:iconkathrynodriscoll:
`KathrynODriscoll Feb 1, 2013  Student Writer
:giggle: Glad you enjoyed this.
Reply
:iconrlkirkland:
*rlkirkland Jan 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Living in denial... told well.
Reply
:iconkathrynodriscoll:
`KathrynODriscoll Feb 1, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you for commenting :] I'm glad you enjoyed this!
Reply
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